Right where I need to be

It's hard admitting that you've failed. But you only truly fail when you don't get back up and try again.

I've recently enrolled in classes to get my GED. Now I was supposed to graduate in 2012, but life got in the way. And I accept responsibility for not being in college yet.

It's hard starting over. And given the fact that the last time I stepped foot in an actual class room was when I was in 2nd grade, you can see why I'm nervous. But starting over is never easy. It's going to take a lot of hard work and prayers. But I know that God is beside me each step of the way.

Throughout my life, there have been many different careers that I've considered.
I thought about being a singer, but that's hard to do when your voice doesn't sound like Mariah Carey and you have a slight case of stage fright.

I considered a fashion designer. But God tested me on that and we both decided that I love to sew, but it's not something that I want to do full time.

Being a songwriter has been a dream of mine since the age of 10 when I wrote my first song. It's a gift that God has given me and I know it's for a reason and purpose. And I know that when the time is right that God will open that door for me. But I agree that I'm not quite ready to walk through that door.

In 2010, I decided I wanted to be a cultural educator. It was even written in the paper during an interview that I gave. It's something that's in my heart and something that I really had thought would be my career path. It was after all the whole reason that I came out of my shell and started to find out who I was as a person. God tested me on this as well and as much as I love teaching and learning my culture, it's just not what's in my heart to do. I clung to that career path because of the connection that I have to it. It was after all the whole reason that I began to find myself. But God has other plans in mind.

I've always heard that God prepares you for things that are to come. I've prayed and prayed, begging God to show me what it is that I am to do with my life. Finally it hit me to look back on what He has shown me my whole life, what He has been preparing me for. As I looked back on my life I saw that He has always been preparing me to be a care taker, to help heal people, to bring a smile to those in pain and to make a difference in this world. He has been preparing me to be a nurse. After He revealed this to me last week, I recalled all of the times that people have told me how great of a nurse I would be and how I had the natural ability to care for others.

I know it's going to be a long road and I know I could have made the road a lot shorter if I hadn't have taken the long way around. But I believe that I went the long way around for a reason and that God will help me to use it as part of my testimony. After all, He is the one in control.

I may not be where I want to be in life, but I've always been right where God wants me to be.
Prayers for me during this journey would  be appreciated.

Hi, my name is Breiah. I will be your tour guide today.

Last week I was asked if I wanted to work at the "Southeastern Indian Festival" for my Tribe. I said yes and the more I thought about it, I half heartedly hoped that they would have more than enough workers and I wouldn't be needed. That didn't happen and I realized it would be a great experience for me.

Yesterday I found out that I, along with many others were to be a tour guide for the students during their field trip. This scared me quite a bit. How many kids? What am I to say? I need to brush up on my history. I was pretty much freaking out thinking that I would do horrible as a tour guide.

8:00am the tour guides are standing at the gates holding signs with the name of our grades on it. I had the fourth grade group. I didn't think it would be but maybe about 20 kids at most. Wrong! I had 4 teachers and 84 children! The whole time I am freaking out inside afraid that I will mess up and get their lunch time wrong, or they wouldn't learn anything or that they would be bored.
Boy, was I wrong! I prayed for God to guide me, and that is exactly what He did.

At one point, I got scared when the 84 kids started lining up in front of me and looking at me. Then I realized that it was "follow the leader" and I was that leader.
They danced, learned many new things, got their lunch on time, made a craft and were on their busses with ten minutes to spare.

1,000 or so kids came through the gates today. 1,000 more will come tomorrow. The teachers remained calm and we made it through!

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13

Take a chance already!

I tend to be shy around those I don't know. And sometimes having a conversation with someone I don't know can make me nervous because I'm afraid I will say something dumb.
So you can imagine that the nervousness and the fear, gets really strong when it comes to talking to a guy I like.
Tongue tied, jitters and red faced is the look I wear at these times. It's because of this that I often don't say what I want to.

I finally got to meet this guy that I've been friends with online for awhile. He is super sweet, kind and he actually remembered me. We had a short conversation. But when I went to talk, I didn't say nearly everything I wanted to. And then he had to go. The next day I wanted to walk up and speak to him. But the fear and "what if's" kept me from doing so. "What if he's busy? I will just be bothering him. He's probably just really nice to everyone he talks to. He is way out of my league."

Then Saturday came to an end and my chances to speak to him were gone. And unless The Lord ever wants our paths to cross again, I may not see him again. This is one of those moments that I wish I were brave, courageous, took a chance and let the pieces fall where they may.

This is definitely the scene from the movie "Sleepover" where Julie thinks Steve is out of her league and she doesn't think she has a chance with him. But in the end, he got on stage and asked her to dance. But that's just in the movies.

I need to work on being braver and taking more chances. I guess posting this is taking a chance.

Who do you think I am?

Every day we go on our Facebook pages and update. We share, photo's, places we go, things we do, thoughts and many other things. But rarely do we think of what our pages tell others about us. Who do they think you are by just looking at your page?

Recently, I have pondered this thought. What does my page say about me? When someone goes on my page, who do they think I am? So I went back through the highlights of my Facebook page. And besides my "About Me",this is what I found

God is very important to me. I have shared times God has brought me through stuff, things he has shown and taught me. And I have shared my testimony.

Family is important to me as well. We may not get together as much as we should. And we may be separated by miles or county's. But it's good to know that there are people out there that love and care for you. And share the same crazy genetics as you.

I love to make things. Maybe a little to much. But still, I love to be crafty and make something beautiful out of something simple. I love to share the things I create on my page.

I am Native American(Mvskoke). I love to rock my moccasins( shoes, not snakes), sit around and make baskets. And there were those two awesome years that I was a princess for my tribe and those times changed my life in so many ways.

I post crazy/humorous things. Mostly because I love to make people laugh and you never know when someone is feeling down or has had a bad day and needs a laugh. Sometimes people don't understand my humor. And that's okay to.

I quite possibly have an obsession with going to concerts. And I don't think there is a cure. But I'm okay with that.

I love to write. I write what God gives me. I also write songs. And sometimes I share those songs on my page. It takes a lot for me to post them. I tend to be very critical of what others might think about them.

And the last thing I noticed is that once in a while, I do something unexpected and adventurous that makes people wonder if they really know all there is to know about me.

I love to write songs. When I can't figure stuff out all I have to do is write. And also I like to write from stories other people tell me and I hear.

(Verse1)
They say history just repeats itself,
Well you know it's true....
She's just gonna turn around,
And do the same things to you.....
Again....

You thought she had changed her ways..,
And was the girl you loved before...
But she fooled you with everything..,
You don't know who she is,anymore..

(Chorus Intro)
Why do we let people...,
Walk in and out of our door?

(Chorus)
Do we do it because we're weak?,
Do we hope that people change?,
Do we do it because we miss what we once had?....
Why do we give a hundred chances..,
So sure that we can fix it...,
It seems fine for awhile,but never lasts....
If history just repeats itself,
I must be wasting my time.....

(Verse2)
You open the door,and pull out a chair..,
But still her nose is so high in the air...,
That if it rains she might drowned...

She says she loves you in every way,
With you she'll always stay...,
Then she's never around.....

(Chorus Intro)
Aren't you tired of her,
Always letting you down?

(Chorus)
Do we do it because we're weak?,
Do we hope that people change?,
Do we do it because we miss what we once had?....
Why do we give a hundred chances..,
So sure that we can fix it...,
It seems fine for awhile,but never lasts....
If history just repeats itself,
I must be wasting my time.....

She promises she's changed her ways..,
And that with her it's better days...,
Seals it with a kiss.....
But deep inside you know..,
That's just another lie from her lips...

(Chorus)
Do we do it because we're weak?,
Do we hope that people change?,
Do we do it because we miss what we once had?....
Why do we give a hundred chances..,
So sure that we can fix it...,
It seems fine for awhile,but never lasts....
If history just repeats itself,
I must be wasting my time.....

You said if "History just repeats itself,
I must be wasting my time..."

Single for life?

Be honest, sometimes the thought crosses your mind, "Am I destined to be single? Does The Lord, not have someone out there for me?". It crosses my mind. But then I remind myself of the conclusion that came to me a little while ago. God has someone out there for me. And I can be sure that he is out there, because I trust God. I also know that as much as I pray for God to put him in my life, that I need to pray for him. I need to pray for his health, heart, and most importantly, his relationship with God. I also know that I may not be in the place God wants me to be yet and that's why this person isn't in my life. So every day I feel like I'm destined to stay single my whole life, I just remind myself he is out there, better myself and trust God.

But then again, I never forwarded those chain emails a few years ago.... 😧

Until the day I meet "him", here is a song I wrote for him.


"My Prayer For You"

(Verse1)
I hope you find everything that you've ever dreamed of,
I hope you find the light of your life.
I hope your heart is fuller than the ocean,
And you count your blessings like the stars at night..
I pray that you find strength when the road gets a little bumpy,
I pray that your faith only grows.
I hope you see the beauty in every storm,
And I hope you know...

(Chorus)
Sometimes life may knock you down,
But get back up again.
Cling tight to the truth,
Remember that God is your best friend..
I pray that goodbyes make you stronger,
I hope you always know,
That somebody's praying for you and,
You're loved more than you'll ever know.

(Verse2)
I hope you always believe in your dreams,
I hope you always believe in yourself.
I pray that wherever this road takes you,
That God surrounds you with His angels..
I hope you see the lesson in every mistake,
I hope you inspire wherever you go.
I pray that your light shines through the darkest days,
And I hope you know.

(Chorus)
Sometimes life may knock you down,
But get back up again.
Cling tight to the truth,
Remember that God is your best friend..
I pray that goodbyes make you stronger,
I hope you always know,
That somebody's praying for you and,
You're loved more than you'll ever know.

You're not getting any younger

Maybe there is a book I forgot to read. Or maybe some chart that never graced my eyes about when a person should date, get married and have children.
Here lately I find myself dreading going to gatherings where I will see family and friends. Being twenty years old and still living with my parents is apparently unacceptable to some people. The main questions I am always asked are; "Are you in school?", "Where do you work?", "Do you want children?" "You need a man, honey.".
Why does having a boyfriend, a job, or children, make me more or less of a person. Can't I just find myself and be that for a little while?
The next person that asks me any of those questions will be hit sarcastically with "It's hard to juggle a boyfriend and school when I'm hitting the pole every night."
                  Sarcastically,
                          Not a stripper