Saturday, July 12, 2014

Right where I need to be

It's hard admitting that you've failed. But you only truly fail when you don't get back up and try again.

I've recently enrolled in classes to get my GED. Now I was supposed to graduate in 2012, but life got in the way. And I accept responsibility for not being in college yet.

It's hard starting over. And given the fact that the last time I stepped foot in an actual class room was when I was in 2nd grade, you can see why I'm nervous. But starting over is never easy. It's going to take a lot of hard work and prayers. But I know that God is beside me each step of the way.

Throughout my life, there have been many different careers that I've considered.
I thought about being a singer, but that's hard to do when your voice doesn't sound like Mariah Carey and you have a slight case of stage fright.

I considered a fashion designer. But God tested me on that and we both decided that I love to sew, but it's not something that I want to do full time.

Being a songwriter has been a dream of mine since the age of 10 when I wrote my first song. It's a gift that God has given me and I know it's for a reason and purpose. And I know that when the time is right that God will open that door for me. But I agree that I'm not quite ready to walk through that door.

In 2010, I decided I wanted to be a cultural educator. It was even written in the paper during an interview that I gave. It's something that's in my heart and something that I really had thought would be my career path. It was after all the whole reason that I came out of my shell and started to find out who I was as a person. God tested me on this as well and as much as I love teaching and learning my culture, it's just not what's in my heart to do. I clung to that career path because of the connection that I have to it. It was after all the whole reason that I began to find myself. But God has other plans in mind.

I've always heard that God prepares you for things that are to come. I've prayed and prayed, begging God to show me what it is that I am to do with my life. Finally it hit me to look back on what He has shown me my whole life, what He has been preparing me for. As I looked back on my life I saw that He has always been preparing me to be a care taker, to help heal people, to bring a smile to those in pain and to make a difference in this world. He has been preparing me to be a nurse. After He revealed this to me last week, I recalled all of the times that people have told me how great of a nurse I would be and how I had the natural ability to care for others.

I know it's going to be a long road and I know I could have made the road a lot shorter if I hadn't have taken the long way around. But I believe that I went the long way around for a reason and that God will help me to use it as part of my testimony. After all, He is the one in control.

I may not be where I want to be in life, but I've always been right where God wants me to be.
Prayers for me during this journey would  be appreciated.

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