At this point in my life I am learning acceptance. Acceptance of my past, things I can't change, who I am and who I am becoming. It's the easiest and hardest thing that I've ever done.
Last night I couldn't go to sleep. I laid in the bed talking to God about everything in my heart.
We talked about all of my past relationships and how I see how everything played out now that I'm older.
We agreed on the lessons behind those relationships and the reasons for the actions of each person in the relationship at the time. I made peace with the reasons and let go of the hurt.
I apologized to the girl I used to be. I apologized for not guarding her heart better. For not standing up for her. I accepted the burden and truth of those that I've been rude to and hurt. I accepted that I've tried to control most of my life and apologized to God for not trusting Him with my life sooner. I accepted everything in my past and the roads that I've taken.
And then I let it go.
I accepted everything about my past and who I was and then I let it go and gave it to God.
If there was ever a time in my life that I could look back on and realize that I was changing, it would be now. The past two months, God has really been working on me and it's the first time that I actually feel like an adult. Up until this point, I've always felt like a child in a giants body. But now that's changed.
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